She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
