Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
