The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i now understand why vodka
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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