I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
