Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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