This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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