You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
