I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
