I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
