We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
