Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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