what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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