We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
