If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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