i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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