The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You ruined the universe
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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