I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
