I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
