So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
