then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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