it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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