When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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