Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize