my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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