so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
