Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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