With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
