I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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