is your mom at the bar?
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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