They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
