i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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