Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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