I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
