I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
