that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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