Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
