So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize