wat bout pragnant strippers??
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
