Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
