is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
