Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
