i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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