there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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