it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
