at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
