i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just want nice things and good sex
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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