she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
