hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
