Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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