So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
