I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
