if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
