Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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