I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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