im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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