This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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