he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
