We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Randomize
