How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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