Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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