This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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