wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
