omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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