My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize