Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
