Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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