I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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