Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
