so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
