I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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