Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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