We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I look better un-naked...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
