New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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