This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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