the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
