There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
