I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
